My sun and stars

They say you fall in love with three people in your life, ones to teach you a lesson, ones to show you what you don’t want, and the lastly the one you never want to let go, your life partner. I can honestly and soundly say I’ve had all three of these people in my life, hence my three failed engagements. 

My life partner and I arejtbseeing eye to eye at the moment and it’s ripping e to shreds. It makes me second think, maybe this isn’t the path I’m supposed to take. Maybe somebody else is out there and this was just a temporary fix to a broken heart. I’m not sure about anything anymore really I feel like my thoughts are a constant monsoon flooding my mind. My emotions are a hurricane in my chest and I’m not sure what to think or feel anymore. 
I am wholely convinced that real love doesn’t exist any more. That people just want some one to do things for them. That they don’t love the person they love the things said person does for them. 

All I know is no matter what he will always be my sun and stars, my life partner, my best friend. 


Fire and the Stained Glass Window

Her soul was like a stained glass window. Stained with sin but full of many beautiful colors. But this window only distorts what you see of her, there is a fire in her heart. A fire that reflects though her soul and makes the colors dance. This fire which sometimes got so out of hand it just burst out. Lashing and burning everything in its path until only ashes are left where there was once beauty and peace. She tries to surpress this fire, this power, this demon. But it’s a losing battle. A day to day struggle. For this fire is wild and untameable. This fire is free and blazing and awe inspiring. But dangerous. There was once a boy who dared to try to tame this flame within the young girls heart. He succeeded for a while, but eventually he too got burned and turned his back on the girl. This broke the girls heart and left the fire to do as it may. Since then the girl with the stained soul and burning heart has learned how to be stronger, wiser, more human if you will. She has learned faliure is temporary and to try try again. She has learned to take hold of that fire and keep it under control through sheer will. Yes it is still a daily struggle. Yes it still lashes out, but she extinnguishes it as soon as she feels it start to burn in her chest. Sometimes though she is not quick enough. But as she has learned faliure is temporary. So the girl with the burning heart and stained glass soul has learned to love herself. Fire and all. For her colors can not dance with out this flame.

Thanks for reading,