Sometimes I Feel

Sometimes I feel sad 

even though I’m doing what I love.

Sometimes I feel lonely

 even though I’m in a crowded room.

Sometimes I feel ignored

 even though I’m talking.

Sometimes I feel unimportant 

even though I’m told otherwise.

Sometimes I feel useless 

even though I’m depended on.

Sometimes I feel scared

 even though I’m smiling.

But that’s only sometimes.

And I know I’m going to be okay.

Because I am everything I’ve ever 

wanted to be.

And I have a life like no other.
Thanks for reading,

Lindsey

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Learning to have a Healthy MarriageĀ 

Wanna know the key to a happy and healthy relationship? Keep it private. Keep it off social media. Never let anyone know when your home is unhappy because that’s an invitation for people to interfere. Don’t post about fights online or financial troubles, heck don’t even talk to people in person about it, unless it’s your family or one close friend and even then don’t tell too much into it. Dustin and I may fight and argue but it’s never too bad and I only vent to one person and that’s usually my sister who is never really listening anyways. You will never see anything but happiness and smiles on Facebook or Instagram because I learned my lesson with my past relationship with posting about your personal drama online. It invites unwanted visitors into it. 


Communicate. I cannot stress this enough. Don’t push them away(a bad habit I have) or bottle it up (another habit) or be passive aggressive (yet again) be open with each other. Talk about your day, any emotions you may be feeling, anything they’ve done to make you mad or unhappy or sad or anything, just talk to them be open. I cannot tell you how effective it is for you and your partner and how it will help avoid petty fights and arguments. Try not to raise your voice or lose control of your emotions.       

If you have kids or are a blended family like mine, parenting styles for the two of you may be different, and that’s okay. Try to come together and try different things to see what works for both of you and what you both agree on. Dustin and I are still working on this.


And lastly don’t forget the little things. A kiss goodbye and I love before heading out to work in the morning can do miracles for anyone’s day. Plan a movie night where you just order pizza and veg out in bed watching stupid comedies on Netflix. Plan a family fun day where you can go to the park and while the kids play you and your partner can have some much needed conversation time. Guys bring her a flower just a cheap one or one you picked or some food I promise she will love it and brighten her day, ladies watch the game with him or pick up the controller and let him teach you how to play, or make him his favorite dessert it’s always a nice surprise. 

Don’t forget you guys are a team. Don’t let anyone disrespect your partner because that’s disrespecting you too. Don’t forget you guys have goals of your own and together. Don’t forget to slow down sometimes and just enjoy each other’s company, cuddles and love. Just don’t forget to be in love. Take it from someone who’s had relationship after relationship flop, and finally tried something different and is finally happy.
Thanks for reading,

Lindsey

Little Blue Pill

As I’ve mentioned in earlier posts I struggle with depression. I often describe that ever lingering presence in my mind as a shadow. It comes out and stays around even on the sunniest of days. I don’t know why it happens or how but it just happens and no matter how hard I try to get rid of it, it stays around like a forever stain in my mind. 

Recently I’ve been put on 100mg of Zoloft to help make this shadow not to linger as often and for darkness to not be as dark. Sort of like a flash lights beam in a pitch black cave, a beacon to go in the right direction. 

Depression is isolating. It is a monster that will consume your every good thought and feeling and turn it into some twisted nightmare. 

This shadow, this monster, turns you into your own worst enemy. Making you self destruct, cut yourself off from the outside world, talk and trust no one because it makes you believe nobody cares at all. 

Many times I’ve let this beast in my mind destroy everything I’ve ever had. Many times has it made me lie awake at night unable to sleep from the worst thoughts clouding my mind, many times has it made me say to my self I am useless, worthless, a waste of space nobody cares about. I’d be better off dead.

No matter how much anyone told me they loved me, needed me, cared for me all I could think was they’d be better off without me making them so miserable. 

This little blue pill called Zoloft has helped ease these thoughts, has helped give me courage to fight this beast. It helps me see there is hope of getting rid of it and of learning to conquer it. 

It is still a daily struggle and a lot of times those thoughts have still plagued my mind, but I can sense and tell it’s getting better. I’ve got a more firm grip on reality, I’ve got a great many of people who care, yes some days I still want to just disappear but those days are getting fewer. 
If you struggle from depression too I want to hear about your monster, each persons shadow is different, let us start a community dedicated to helping those like us. 

Thanks for reading,

Lindsey